Hmm it's been a while. Ought to write about the bad days too, for we're all the same, sailors of this ocean of pain.
I've heard, the thing about pain is that it demands to be felt. We know physical pain from a young age. We cut, bleed, clot and heal. Hit that toe (or elbow in my case) everytime but it's only a matter of 5 seconds before it's forgotten. But how about mental pain? Did we ever really understand it?
Yes it's been a shit show. The difficulty of this game only gets worse and hostile every quarter of every year. There has really not been many wins- but just surviving with significant wounds and irreversible disabilities. Whether you decide to be bitter about not winning the last 10 laps or not, the game never stops. There's practically no out. Bleeding, limping, crawling and crying but have to keep playing this game.
At this point, I'm very convinced that the storm will never pass. There's no end to this. I keep telling myself that this is learning. This is how you become tough and wise. I don't know if it's true, but it is very bitter to learn everything the hard way. Like the batman in training but the movie never ends because there's no one big fight. Batman keeps taking the hit, one after one after one, but it never stops. It's like he's being trained by a machine. A machine fueled by a very renewable source of energy. (Say for example 'worry').
Life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you get. Yes except, in this saying, you'll get chocolate no matter what type. I would very much like to correct this saying. Life is like a box- you never know what you get. Could be chocolate, pebbles, dog-waste, snakes, a hardbound copy of 'interpretation of dreams'. But you came looking for chocolates. You're hungry and now, also, an idiot.
Much love to self and all those sailors ♥️
Aparna
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